When someone has hurt you or your loved one, there is a great chance that you may not be able to get over the hurt, the memory or the pain. You may not want to forgive that someone who has hurt you because deep inside you, you may think they do not deserve to be forgiven. However, if you don't try to forgive them, it could affect you mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When you forgive, you're actually taking a step forward to your freedom.
When you forgive someone, it doesn't mean that you are excusing them. It simply means you are releasing them. Because when you excuse someone, it simply means that you are acting like nothing happened, like that person didn't hurt you or he's not guilty for doing something bad to you. So, when you excuse someone, you're letting them get off from what they did for free. That cannot be considered forgiving because forgiving involves acknowledging the pain you've felt.
Forgiveness is not based on who deserves it. Because most of the time, the people who have hurt us do not deserve our forgiveness at all. But that is not the issue of forgiveness. Often times, when a person who have wronged us comes to us for forgiveness, we find it easier to forgive that person. But forgiveness is not based on who deserves it or not. It should be based on the willingness of the person who was hurt, to forgive the other person who caused the hurt.
Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean things are okay. We might forgive but it doesn't mean we condone the wrong doing of the person who has hurt us. The wrong that was done will always remain wrong. Forgiving is not an invitation for the person to come back to your life again. It simply means you have gotten over the feeling of hurt and you have moved on.
Forgiving someone is a choice you make. It's not about your feelings because there will be times when we do not feel like forgiving someone that has wronged us. It's a choice that we have to make because not forgiving people who have hurt us can only bring us bitterness. We free ourselves from being bitter when we forgive someone. We are healed emotionally, spiritually and mentally when we come to terms in moving on from the feelings of hurt.
When we forgive, it doesn't necessarily mean we have to forget. As human beings, we are incapable of erasing the hurt from our memory and pretend like it never happened. Forgetting is not a prerequisite for forgiving. When you remember the hurt that someone has brought us, it doesn't mean that we haven't forgiven them. Forgiving is the will of our mind to move on from that hurt. But that will forever remain in our memory to constantly remind us that life is not perfect and that we have to learn from the past.
When you forgive, you might be doing others a favor but what you don't realize is, you are doing yourself an even bigger favor. We forgive because we don't wanna hang on to the past. Hanging on to the hurt will only affect you present life and your future relationships with other people. When you choose not to forgive, you become bitter and you will tend to live a miserable life. You have to let go and move past it. Forgiving only frees you from the hurt and the pain you've felt.