How much of your time do you spend lamenting, "I do NOT want to be HERE!" ?
It's perfectly natural to want to be somewhere else (or even be someone else) when we hurt. We just don't want to feel what we feel when it isn't pleasant... especially when we don't know how to start feeling better.
A deep tension grows as we keep our focus on the unmet wish that things were different. We develop a strong avoidance of what our feelings are right NOW. And while it is a natural reaction to shy away from suffering, what we resist... persists. It's the resistance (not the pain) that keeps us stuck right where we are.
When you do this to yourself, what you are doing is insisting, "I am NOT okay where I am!" And that may be absolutely true.
However, this insistent message tells your primitive brain to sound the red alert: IT IS FRIGHTENING AND DANGEROUS HERE!!! Your primitive brain commands your entire body-mind to: RUN! FIGHT! HIDE!
Can you see that those intense red alert signals are helpful in cases where you need to immediately flee a tornado, fight off an attacker, or hide from a threat?
Can you also see that this red alert stress response is counter-productive when the "threat" is a chronic condition (whether physical disease or financial distress or relationship challenge)?
Once the red alert is signaled, your brain starts scanning for problems and reaching for solutions. Alas, for a chronic condition that can't be "solved" in an instant, what we see is that the mind seems to turn on itself. In its frustration and disempowerment, we tune into crushing beliefs like:
- I can't survive like this!
- I'm not good enough (and never had been)...
- I must deserve this.
You are in essence resisting yourself... trying not to be you. That conflict and stress is hard on the body and your energy system and can prevent you from moving forward. Your natural self-healing system becomes blocked.
Believe it or not, there can be relief when you just admit, "I am where I am." Our bodies are natural lie detectors. The truth feels good to the body and helps it ground and center. Denial feels discordant and slows energy flow.
You can test that right now. Try saying "My name is Susan", and try to make it feel true to you. Assuming your name is not Susan, your body will resist the statement. Tune into your body, and notice how your energy responds to the LIE... does it feel heavier or more sluggish?
Now say, "My name is ____ (insert your name)", and notice how you feel. Do you feel a bit lighter when you state a truth? Do you have a bit more energy?
It takes tremendous energy to stay in denial... resisting where we are. When our body is already distressed and in pain, it doesn't have energy to spare. If we can give our body more peace, reduce the stress it is feeling even a little bit, the body can kick in with its natural healing functions.
One of the things that is most powerful about the Tapping (EFT) set-up is the inclusion of a self-acceptance statement like: "I deeply and completely accept myself."
The set-up statement also includes an HONEST statement about how we feel NOW... "Even though I hate this" or "Even though I wish it was different ... I deeply and completely accept myself."
The combination of truth and self-acceptance says to our whole being, "I am where I am, and that's OKAY."
By taking the pressure off the primitive brain, your whole physiology starts shifting. There is less energy going into angst and fear and doubt and more loving energy flowing towards rest, renewal, and healing. This path is all about activating the vibration of self-healing, and the result we see is the soothing of chronic pains.
So, if you want accept yourself where you are... even an itsy bit... what do you do?
Tap on accepting yourself and whatever you're feeling. Feel free to adjust the tapping rounds to better match your individual situation.
Karate Chop: Even though I am really hurting and I hate this feeling, I am where I am right now, and I am willing to accept that just a little.
Even though my body (or my heart) hurts, and I am resisting that, I am open to accepting myself and what I feel.
Even though I don't want to feel this, I am feeling this, and I am feeling what I'm feeling.
Eyebrow: This is where I am.
Side of the eye: I don't really like it at all.
Under the eye: In fact I hate it.
Under the nose: But I am here right now.
Chin: I do want to be somewhere else...
Collar bone: But right now, I am right here.
Under the arm: My body and heart hurt.
Top of the head: And maybe I'm okay anyway.
Eyebrow: This is where I am.
Side of the eye: I am still resisting it at bit.
Under the eye: But I am more present in my body.
Under the nose: I am learning to accept myself where I am.
Chin: I do still hurt.
Collar bone: And I'm able to be with that pain now.
Under the arm: I am doing things to help myself.
Top of the head: I'm okay right where I am.
Take a deep breath.
Notice any changes in your body. In your thoughts. Write down any insights and issues that are coming up so you can tap on them when you have more time. And take a moment to appreciate any shifts and relief you're feeling.