How to Get Your Fiance Interested in the Wedding

Do you feel like you are the only one interested in your wedding? Do you ask your groom for his opinion, only to hear, "Whatever you think is fine"? Use these ideas to get your fiance interested in the wedding, and to maybe even get a little bit of help from him!

If we are honest about, wedding planning has always been the purview of the bride and her mother. These days, many of the old notions of traditional roles for men and women have broken down, and so brides naturally expect that their guys will be as into the wedding as they are. This can be a mistaken assumption, however. Before you get too worked up over your fiance's lack of interest in the details of planning your wedding, ask yourself if he is generally interested in the types of things which are part of a wedding like flowers, decorations, and fashions. If the answer is not so much, then it should really be no surprise that he is not super helpful when it comes to designing the dream wedding. Whatever you do, don't take it to mean that he is having cold feet; a man can be very excited about the marriage without caring much at all about the party.

Now that we have reasonable expectations, it is time to get that groom interested and motivated! Playing to his areas of interest and expertise will help to get him more involved. As most women have noticed, even the most disinterested groom will find time to show up for the menu sampling and cake tasting appointments! Instead of trying to get his opinion in areas where he may truly have no preference (like the flowers or invitations), get him to help with the parts of the wedding which do appeal to him, like the food and the music. Let the other stuff go and just keep him updated from time to time. This is a winning situation, because you can get real help from your groom in some of the big areas, while letting go of the frustrating expectation that he will be your right hand man for every aspect of the wedding planning process (of course if your fiance is willing to help with more, great!).

Giving the groom genuine responsibilities can also help to get him off the couch and helping with plans. Of course, this means relinquishing some of the control over the final product, so before you work too hard to get your fiance to help, be sure that it is worth it to you! After all, why should he put in a lot of effort if you are going to step in and overrule him at the last minute? Let him pick the limo company and the groomsmen gifts, so that he can take ownership of some of the wedding (actually, even the least involved groom is obligated to pick out the gifts for his groomsmen).

On the big things where you could use some help making a joint decision, you might find it easier to get your fiance's help if you do a lot of the legwork on your own. Instead of dragging him to a bridal show on a Saturday afternoon, go with a friend and narrow it down to a few top vendors. Then have you fiance come with you to meet with caterers or go see wedding bands play. A final tip is to break up wedding stuff with regular couple's activities. One of the top complaints that many grooms have is how all-consuming wedding planning can become for the bride. Try to give him a break from the planning, and maybe you will get a more enthusiastic participant. And if all else fails, fall back on the old standby and plan the wedding with your mother!

Bridget Mora gives brides all the advice, tips, and etiquette they need to plan the perfect wedding. At, we offer a handsome selection of groomsmen gifts to help you show your appreciation for the men in the wedding party.

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