Wedding Planning Etiquette: To Ask or Not to Ask? Who Pays for What?
Money -- to ask or not to ask? Who pays for what? Discussing money is never easy, especially for couples who do not know the first thing about wedding planning etiquette. Moreover, the answer to your money questions are bound to vary, depending on who you ask. So, what's the real score on asking for money as a wedding present? And, going back to the second question, who gets to pay for what?
Getting the Word Out
Wedding planning etiquette dictates that even if it is money that you need as a present, do not ever put down a request for cash in your invitation.
You can get the word out with the help of friends and family members. However, this has to be done with care and tact. For instance, if one of the guests ask what the couple is most likely to appreciate as a present, the best response would be that anything is welcome, but money might be high up on their list because... (at this point, feel free to fill in the blank with a reason or two). If you need the cash to buy furnishings, for example, then have your friends and family say so. It is also a good idea to include the reason in the thank you note that you will send out later on.
Gifts Are Good, But We Need Cash
The good news is that though money will always be a delicate subject as far as wedding planning etiquette is concerned, it seems to be the present most people are willing to give anyway. According to the Emily Post Institute's current spokesperson, Peggy Post, "Money makes an ideal gift, and it does not hurt that there are now many excellent options for monetary gifting."
What are these options?
For one, there are gift checks. There are also personal checks. Additionally, companies like American Express now offer special gift checks that are not only wedding-themed but actually allow couples to hold on to the check until they figure out what they want to use it for.
In a nutshell, asking for money as a present is perfectly acceptable. Just be sure to do it with diplomacy and sensitivity.
Who Pays for What?
Another sensitive issue in wedding planning etiquette is who pays for what. Many couples find this subject so touchy that they avoid discussing it altogether. This should not be the case because working out a budget is necessary.
A decade ago, the burden of paying for the wedding rested solely on the shoulders of the bride's father. Today, the lines are no longer tightly drawn. Because many of the couples getting married do so when they already have money of their own, expenses are shared. The groom's family now shoulder part of the expenses, too.
These are only some of the money-related issues that you can handle with care, given proper knowledge of wedding planning etiquette. Do yourself a favor and get a guide that walks you through the process, from start to finish. Then, and only then, can you throw the wedding of your dreams beautifully!