For many people, getting served with divorce papers will come as an extremely unpleasant surprise. For others, it can be a slow, but inevitable, conclusion to a marriage that was slowly dying. No matter which camp you fall into, a divorce is a highly emotional, stressful process, particularly if there are children involved. In the cases where a person is blindsided by their partner wanting a divorce, it is usually the case that they were simply not paying close enough attention.
Such a decision does not come out of nowhere. There are always signs that their spouse is unhappy. If you know what to look for, then you can spot those signs early and perhaps even take steps to repair your union before it is too late. If that is not the case, then it is best if you retain an experienced divorce attorney, and if you live in Southern California, then you can contact the Goldberg Legal Group to find one.
There Is Poor Communication
Good and constant communication is one of the keys to a strong marriage, but if one of the partners is minimally communicative, then that could be a portentous sign that trouble is on the way.
If a spouse does not effectively communicate how they feel about a given situation, then the other will not know how to react. That can cause confusion, frustration, and resentment, which is not a good foundation for a blissful union.
A couple should be able to work through any issues that arise, but that is impossible if half of the couple refuses to communicate.
One Spouse Generally Avoids the Other
If there is literal, as well as figurative, distance between the couple, then that is a bad sign. If one person continually finds excuses not to be around the other and is reluctant to be alone with them, then that is a sure sign that they are growing apart.
So if one partner would rather spend time with their friends than with their spouse, if they spend more time at work, if they spend more time looking at their phone when they are together, then there is a good chance that the marriage will soon be over.
You Don’t Fight Anymore … or You Fight All the Time
It may seem odd that the lack of conflict is a sign of marital problems, but the occasional fight is good for your relationship. Fighting shows that you care about each other and are invested in the relationship. The sporadic argument means that you are communicating with each other and willing to work things out.
A lack of fighting can mean a lack of passion. It could mean that one or both of you have checked out of the relationship and are willing to let anger and resentment build until you no longer want to be around each other.
The other extreme is that you fight constantly and can never seem to reach a resolution. If you argue about inconsequential, petty subjects that keep coming up again and again, then that is a sign that your relationship is broken. That is especially the case if the arguments become more personal.
You Would Rather Spend Time with Your Friends
It’s great to have friends with whom you want to hang out, even if it means that you are spending time away from your spouse. Healthy casual friendships are great for your mental well-being.
However, if you find that you would much rather spend all of your free time with your friends than with your partner, then that means your relationship is less intimate than it used to be.
If you find that you would rather share big news with your friends first, if you prefer to confide in them, and if you value you their insight more than that of your spouse, then the connection between the two of you is starting to break down.
There Is a Lot Less Intimacy
Intimacy can refer to anything from sex to spooning to hugging to just holding hands. The act of being intimate with your partner means that they bring you happiness and pleasure, in other words, desire for your spouse means that they make you happy.
A lack of intimacy means a lack of contentment and discontent is a sure sign of a troubled marriage. The lack of intimacy with a spouse is particularly troubling because it means that the unsatisfied partner will try to find intimacy elsewhere.
An Unhappy Marriage Does Not Have to Lead to Divorce
These are all ominous warning signs of an unhappy marriage, but that doesn’t mean that divorce is inevitable. If you both acknowledge that you have problems and are willing to get help to work through them, then it is possible to save your marriage.
However, if your problems are irreconcilable, then divorce may be your only option. If that is the case, then make certain that you hire a quality divorce lawyer to make the divorce proceedings as quick and painless as possible.