Cheating is not recommended for couples working to build a happily ever after. It does happen and doesn't always mean you want the relationship to end.
You probably weren't planning to cheat. You love your partner. You may not have even realized what you were getting into until you were in over your head.
Be prepared to come up against a stone wall at some time. It may be the only mechanism she has that allows her to cope. So, how do you tear down those walls so that you can win back your wife's heart after cheating?
Agree to disagree in private. This accomplishes many things. First, when things are about to boil over it gives you a cooling off period if children or others are around. This "cooling off" time gives you both the opportunity to gain a little perspective before you "have your say." Second, it allows you to keep the personal problems between the two of you away from the children. They may know that something is going on with mom and dad but they don't need to know the details.
Space. Give your partner a little time and space so that he or she can process what has happened and deal with it in a time frame that is better suited to your partner. There is nothing that will push someone to the wrong decision faster than someone trying to push them into a hard decision. Give your partner a little time to weigh his or her options and get a taste of life without you as a constant presence. In other words, give your partner a little time to really start to miss you.
Start setting goals and making plans together. If you are working together towards a common goal, you'll have a much more difficult time drifting apart. When you accomplish one goal, set a new one and start working towards it. Keep working towards bigger and better things in the future. You'll both have things to look forward to and you can have fun in the planning process as well.
Make sure your partner understands just how much you appreciate the little things he or she does for you. While you want to feel needed, your partner needs to feel valued, too. Appreciate your partner for who she is and what she does for you and your family. This will be invaluable currency as you make efforts to win back your partner's heart.