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Men Want You or What Men Really Want

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Men Want the Real You

Believe it or not, we want the real you. We don't care about the model with the huge breasts in the tabloid or the current female sex symbol.

We don't understand why you women are always so caught up in the hype the media generates. We know that it is only hype and unless you own those companies or are filthy rich, why would anyone care about it. It will not pertain to our lives anyway. We don't see why girls even waste time worrying about those things. Most men are not that shallow and would probably never want to marry that woman anyway.

We prefer a woman who takes care of herself and is fun to be around. We don't need or even want you to be perfect. A lot of times, it is your physical imperfections that a man finds attractive and even sexually arousing.

Heart of Love

That is really what a man wants. A woman who will continue to take care of herself and be sexy because she loves her man and wants him to get horny when he sees her. Not a woman who is caught up in advertisements or one who gave up on her body just because she got married or had a child.

I think that coming home to a woman who makes an effort to be sexy for me is a great turn on and is far more desirable than a Victoria Secret model and I think most other men would agree. He married you or is going out with you isn't he?

So next time you see something and start feeling bad remember, most men don't actually want you to be like that girl in the advertisement anyway. They just want you to be you and be happy, because then we are happier as a result.

This leads into my next pointer.

Ditch the Canned Advice

First off, forget what you read in those magazines, especially the gossip kind. Most of that is just information and not really any good. Men like a woman who can make up her own mind and not depend on what her friends think. Actually, we really don't like it at all. Here we are asking you for a date and you can't even give an answer because you don't know what so and so will have to say about it.

Or, after we have already slept together, we want to take you to a lake for the weekend. Just the two of us. But we have to wait until you ask your friend Bernice, who is an expert on men, what she thinks about it. If a man had to ask someone else what he should do in every situation, what would you think? You would think he isn't really a man and that there is no way he could be relied upon to stand firm when needed.

It makes us think that it isn't safe to date you because who will be deciding the course of the relationship? It is very insulting and maddening to know that you are somehow basing our dating life on what somebody else told you to do. Where are you in this? Where is your own mind?

Don't Repeat Everything

Going along with what I just mentioned is the fact that so many of you talk about everything we do or say.

We get the feeling sometimes that it isn't safe to share our thoughts or desires with you because once we are done talking, you are telling the whole world about what we said.

Basically, whether he admits to it or not, he is probably disappointed or even a little hurt by the fact that you won't regard what he tells you as private. You are also giving a mixed message by doing that. On one hand you say that you want to be more intimate and closer in the relationship, but as soon as he opens up, you are spilling your guts to all your friends or even worse, your mother.

Stop a moment and think about it. Do you like it when someone tells others everything you do or say? Especially if your boyfriend were doing it? As I said at the start of this post,Treat men how you want to be treated. Period.

This happens a lot especially if there is a disagreement. Seems as soon as we have a differing opinion, you are on the phone and reporting us, you need advice on how to deal with us..... Deal with us? How insulting is that?

Part of the trouble with telling other people that you had a disagreement is because although you may not be saying that your boyfriend is bad, the person that you are talking to may make that assumption and start giving the guy heat about it or even start spreading rumors. It may sound silly, but this type of thing can ruin a relationship faster than cheating.

Keep in mind that I am not saying that you cannot talk about us at all. Or that you cannot talk to others about your problems or that if you don't feel safe that you cannot mention it. If you don't feel safe then get help immediately.

What I am saying, is to think before you tell others what he talks about or about every little disagreement. Just because we have a spat doesn't mean that the whole world has to know about it.

Don't Judge

Stop being to judgmental about what he says or does. Women seem to form snap judgments that most of the time are wrong. At least not 100% accurate and we as men, don't often get the chance to explain to unbiased ears. Or for that matter, don't really see why we should explain it.

So many times I have had girls wanting to know why I did something or said something only to realize they were judging me in a wrongful way.

So stop relying on your snap judgments and thinking they are correct, you aren't psychic and you really have no right to judge us anyway.

Time to Yourself

We agree, take time to yourself and have some space, we want it too. Just don't let it be to see other guys unless you tell us first. Otherwise, most of us don't mind the fact that you are doing something else. We want to do other things as well and we know that you cannot be together 24 hours a day or it hurts a relationship.

Lies or Half-truths or Trust

I will tell you why so many men get distrustful. It is for the simple fact that so many girls will lie or be so misleading about virtually anything.

We ask a simple question and are met with answers that amount to boldfaced lies or misdirection. If you have nothing to hide then why lie about so much? We understand freedom, but if you need to lie about what you ate for lunch, then we begin to realize that you don't want to share with us and that maybe we should find another girl. After all, why be misleading if there is nothing to hide?

I am serious. Be more honest and most men will be more than happy to meet halfway with you. Again, put yourself in the other person's shoes. If I lie about everything to you, are you going to trust me? Nope.

Sex

Don't use sex against us. Some women will hold out on having sex with a man who they profess to love, just because she is upset about something he will or won't do.

If you want a trusting and happy relationship then don't use sex as a way to get what you want. Eventually, even the dumbest man realizes it and will not be happy.

No relationship is going to be very trusting when one partner uses something against the other to get a desired result. Ever.

Be open and honest with the guy and don't be judgmental. Be nice and open to ideas. In time, a man will realize that you are cool and sex with you is not a problem. Most men are more than willing to satisfy you, or at least try to, so don't make it so hard to.

If he tells you something he doesn't like or that he would like, don't act like he is ripping your heart out. React the way you would want him to react. Sometimes, it may be a good idea to bring up the subject when you are not going to have sex right at the moment. This way, there are not so many emotions and hormones flowing and a desired result is more likely to be achieved.

Don't stop having oral sex because he said you smelled bad once. Chances are, you have told him that he stinks more than once and he had to take it. We don't usually mind a little smell, we are more used to it than you may realize.

We do like variety. Try not to be to stodgy and be open to trying different things. You may be surprised about how happy he is with you.

Arguments and Testing

Don't start little fights or problems when there were none and don't test him all the time. We get tired of it and so would you. We know you are women and are made differently but enough is enough. It isn't fair to come to see you after a hard day at work and you start in with some kind of test to see how I will react. That is very insulting and most of us hate it.

I waited all day to see your pretty smile and all you did was yell at me about something. To much of this and I will be gone for good. Besides, some days I will react differently than other days so it isn't even a true assessment of a man.

If there really is something that he did wrong. Please wait for awhile and don't unleash it as soon as he opens the door. You know how you feel if he does that to you so consider before you jump on his case. Otherwise, it can make a person dread going home.

Lighten up and don't be to serious all the time. Make some jokes and laugh with him. Don't be that girl who always is so serious and is going to worry about what will happen tomorrow, all the time! It is a real downer trying to be with a woman who is constantly worried about something. I think the way some woman worry is one of the bigger factors in relationships with men falling part. Some women just worry to much and drive a man away. Get a grip and loosen up because life is unpredictable and there is only so much that you can do about it.

To wrap it up, put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself, would you want to be treated the way you are treating him right now? If the answer is no, then it is a good idea not to do that anymore. Do this more often and you may find yourself with a much happier man. A happier man is what you want on many levels.

This should give you an understanding that although we are different sexes, we are still human and still are in many ways the same. Meaning, we tend to want to be treated as good as we treat other people.I think that one thing alone would stop a lot of the problems we have.

If you stop and think about it. Isn't it common sense?


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: MIKE BERNSTEN
I do freelance work for a few blogs among other projects. A lot of my work covers dating, love and relationship advice and topics. I am writing and researching the information for Filipina dating and "How do foreign men relate to Asian women?" Some of my work can be found here at Dating Expression

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