Are You Angry Because He Dumped You? Calming Advice for Women

You've been dumped. It's horrible, isn't it? You've probably had friends this has happened to in the past and you've been there to be the voice of reason and the shoulder to cry on. You likely had your own opinion of what your friend needed to do after she was dumped, but now it's you. Everything is different when we're the ones nursing the broken heart and the bruised ego. Your emotions are going to do their own song and dance right now, regardless of how mature you think you are. You're in pain, you're angry and you're about ready to take some revenge on the man who shattered your heart, right? I don't blame you at all. I know the feeling all too well. I do have a bit of advice that you need to read before you allow your anger to consume you and you do things that you'll look back on and regret.

Here's a few sage pieces of advice, drawn from my experience, on how to deal with all that anger you've got brewing inside you:

Scream, yell and cry. That's right, ladies. I'm not going to tell you to get in touch with your inner Goddess and allow the anger to seep out as you meditate. No. That's not going to work at the moment. The negativity is brewing over so why not let it out? Pick a place where you're completely alone. You really don't want to do this in the powder room at the office or while your roommate is sleeping in the next bedroom. Find a place where you can be alone be it in your apartment, or the car. Then let it all out. Say everything aloud that you wish you could say to your ex boyfriend. Cry, mourn and drop a few curse words if it feels appropriate. This is your chance to let it all out so don't hold back. It will feel like an emotional cleansing when you're done.

Write him a letter. You have a lot to say to him, don't you? You're probably going to need to take your time crafting just the right letter to express what you feel. Again, I suggest that you don't hold back with this task. Share the pain you're in and the broken future you now see before you. Express how much you still care for him in spite of the fact that he obviously doesn't view you in the same romantic light anymore. Be expressive, clear and rational with your thoughts. Put the letter away for a day or two and then come back to it. Edit it until it's perfect and you feel you've told him everything you want to. Once it's complete, save it. This letter is never going to grace your boyfriend's presence. It's meant for your eyes only. This is a cathartic way to let your anger out without risking any possible future with your ex.

Chase a new dream. I'm not advocating that you deal with your anger by immersing yourself in a new relationship. That will only make you angry with yourself when you realize it may have cost you any chance at a future with your ex. Sometimes, if we displace our emotions, we can let them go. If you find something new to focus on, the anger you feel will slowly disappear. I believe one of the best ways to do this is to volunteer within your community. There are organizations in desperate need of intelligent, compassionate and caring women like you. You may want to put in a few hours at your local library helping to arrange a reading program for children or perhaps you can work with a woman's shelter to arrange for clothing donations. The key is to do something that is helpful and instrumental for making other people's lives better. Once you do that, you'll see that your situation and its challenges pale in comparison to others.

I want to stress how important it is throughout this to remain strong and true to yourself. Work hard at letting the anger go as you stay out of your boyfriend's life. You don't want to have a heated confrontation with him that will result in hurt feelings that can never be repaired. Anger and resentment have a way of disappearing if we give them the space they need. Honor yourself and the connection you felt with your ex boyfriend by taking some time to find your calm center again.

Gillian Reynolds Saying or doing the wrong thing can impact your future with the man you love. If you still need and want him don't leave your future with him to chance, there are ways to win him back.

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