When you get married, the furthermost thing from your mind is divorce. Going through a divorce is inexplicably complicated and painful. While nothing will make the journey a particularly joyous one, following these 10 steps can help make your a divorce a collaborative and civil process.
1. Marriage is a Legal Contract
Your wedding day is filled with many things, from elaborate floral arrangements to stunning rings. That day you also signed a legal contract. When filing for divorce, you are effectively suing to terminate your marriage contract. Divorce is a lawsuit against your ex-spouse to end the marriage.
2. Do I Need, Want, or Let it Go?
Before you bargain in court for what you justly deserve, you must first determine what you require. While this may seem like an obvious step, it is commonly overlooked. Instead, first evaluate what you truly need, want, and are willing to let go. Also, consider what your spouse’s needs and wants are and why. Knowing these facets places you in a more advantageous position. That way, you know precisely what you have decided on asking for and are willing to fight for.
3. See the New, Post-Divorce
You and your ex-spouse's relationship will inevitably change as a result of the divorce. Instead of attempting to retain the previously unhealthy norm, burn this old relationship. Then, allow for the newer and healthier relationship to surface. This new dynamic will help assist in your potential future friendship and in co-parenting.
4. Ask for Help
Even in the best of circumstances, divorce is still a trying time. It is vital that you have a strong support team throughout the divorce process. Your support team can be anyone, from your parents to friends to a helpline. Also, if you feel that it is needed, seek a medical health professional. Your therapist can help serve as a guide throughout this journey.
5. Still a Team
If you have children, be sure they have a sitdown talk with you and your spouse to discuss the divorce. You and your partner should present a united front when addressing divorce matters by sending the same key messages to your kids. Make it a point not to speak badly about the other parent to your children.
6. What is Your End Goal for the Divorce?
Before entering into negotiations and proceedings, have your end goal in mind. From there, set up some ground rules from yourself, such as:
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Agreeing to disagree
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Being fair
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Acting civilized
7. Use Mediators During Divorce Negotiations
Mediators help achieve an efficient resolution, but they do not replace your attorney. Your attorney can best advise you as to whether or not mediation is the right move for you.
8. How to Stay Occupied During Divorce
The recovery process of divorce can be consuming. Keeping yourself busy can prevent you from dwelling. You could maybe work more hours, pick up sewing, or travel to different attractions in Michigan you have been dying to visit.
9. Divorced Parents and Their Kids
While going through the divorce, it is crucial to include your kids during the process. However, only to an extent. A child should never have to choose between their parents. Instead, develop a custody schedule that fits with the members of the family.
10. Write Your Next Chapter
As you navigate your life after divorce, remember that this is a learning experience. Do not be afraid to declutter old belongings that bring up painful memories. You are not destroying an old "you." Instead, you are now entering the next part with more wisdom.
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