Policeman: The signs all say, "Speed limit, 15 miles an hour."
Motorist: But officer, how could I read them when I was going over 50?

Custom Inspector: What have you to declare?
Traveler: I declare I'm glad to get back home.

Johnny: I am on my way to visit my out laws.
Friend: You mean your in-laws, don't you?
Johnny: No. Outlaws. They're a bunch of bandits.

Judge: The charges against you are that you ran over this man, and also speeding.
Motorist: Yes, your Honour - I was hurrying to get over him.

Judge: The last time I saw you, I told you that I didn't want to see you here again!
Prisoner: That's what I tried to tell these policemen, your Honour, but they wouldn't believe me.

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