One day, an engineer dies and goes up to the gates of heaven. He does not suspect that there will be any problem with him getting in as he feels he has lead quite an honest life. However, when he gets to the gates an angel informs him that he cannot be let in because of a minor offence (against God) that he committed when he was younger. He pleads with the angel, "Please, let me in, I could do so much good work for God in heaven. Whatever kind of systems you've got in there, be in water systems, electronic or other kinds of systems, I can work on them and make them even better. I could even build entire new systems for you." The angel frowns and says, "I'm sorry, there is nothing that I can do. It was a minor thing but still we cannot let you in."

So, the engineer goes down to the gates of hell and is let in. He sees all the poor souls suffering down in hell, souls burning in eternal flames, etc., and he decides that he wants to help them. He starts building bridges so that the souls in hell can travel over the flames and not suffer as much. He builds cooling systems and the like.

Now, every couple of weeks, God would phone the devil and ask him how everything was going down in hell. About two weeks after the engineer arrived in hell, such a conversion took place between God and the devil. While they were talking, the devil asked God, "Do you remember that engineer chap that you sent down here?" "Yes," God replies, "What about him?" "Well," the devil says, "he's doing all kinds of strange stuff down here. He's BUILDING bridges down here so that the souls here don't have to burn in eternal flame. It's incredible."

"That won't do" says God, "that won't do at all. It looks like we made a mistake. He is a good person. We want him back."

"You can't have him," says the devil, "he's staying with us."

God is not happy. He shouts, "Look, we are taking him back OK, we'll take this all the way to court to get him back."

The devil grins and retorts, "Oh yeah? Well, where are you going to get a lawyer??"

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.

The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"

St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"