Caught You

Question: What's the similarity between a lawyer and a dentist?
Answer: Both do filing and extraction.

Court Shorts

Lawyer: Can you see him from where you are standing?
Witness: I can see his head.
Lawyer: Alright, where is his head?
Witness: Just above his shoulders.


A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag facemask over his head -- and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask.


In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unacquainted."

Divine Humour

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly...


Custom Inspector: What have you to declare?
Traveler: I declare I'm glad to get back home.

Lawyers are people who can write a 10,000-word document and call it a brief!