Wish to divorce but husband not agreed

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asked on Aug 12, 2015 at 20:08
Hi, I have few questions to ask and need some advices and help from all of you. My husband he owes lintah darah money for more den RM200K and he ran away from us for more than 6 months already. Me and my son moved back to my parents' house since that incident happen. I wanted to divorce but he refuse to do so and I don't have extra money to fight for my son's custody. I am a bankruptcy person which caused by him as well due to a car issue. What should I do if I wish to have a divorced and have my son?
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answered on Aug 12, 2015 at 22:42
1/ How old is the child?
2/ How long were you made bankrupt?
3/ Have you reported in to JIM (Jabatan Insolvensi)
4/ Are you in gainful employment (Kerja Tetap)?
5/ Are you paying monthly to JIM?
6/ Whose lintah darah money he ran away from, yours or other people?
7/ Why do you want to divorce him and why he does not agree to it?
8/ You are from Kuching? Is/are/or you and your Husband Muslims?
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answered on Aug 12, 2015 at 23:00
Hi Jeff,
1. Kid is 5yrs old
2. Bankrupt for more than 3 yrs
3. Reported to JIM, that is why I know that I have bankruptcy
4. Yes, I have a gainful employment
5. Yes, I paying bit by bit to JIM via monthly deduction from bank account
6. Outsider's and I don't know who is those people
7. I have given him 6 yrs of chances and his gambling habits getting worst and he also ever threaten me that if I don't give he money or borrow money from my family he will sell of my son to Indo. Chances were given too many times and I fed up with this kind of life. All the while I've been paying all my son expenses alone with my own income (only when he have extra, he will gives some for the expenses but only when he have extra). I also don't know why he don't want to divorce with me but he wants to have custody of my son if we divorce.
8. He is from Kuching as well. He is not muslim.

What should I do? If I decided to wait for 2 years cause I noted that there is a law stating that separete for 2 years can get divorce. Will it be the same cost as doing divorce now?
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answered on Aug 13, 2015 at 04:29
@ Bibi

there is a law stating that separete for 2 years can get divorce
That particular law does not apply to you as it is usally meant for newlyweds or husbands who could not traced. So long as there is 2 complete years of marriage, either party party can petition for a divorce. If both parties agree, a mutual (Joint) petition can be filed.

For bankrupts who is petitioning for divorce, there is a distinct disadvatage as one is insolvent. However, you have reported in to JIM and paying monthly, it is no longer an issue to secure FULL CUSTODY of your child. The other favorable law is that a child of below 7 yrs old is usually awarded custody to the mother who is in gainful employment.

The going rate for Single Petition in West Msia is in the region of RM6-7K depending on the complexity on the case. The rate for Mutual Petition is around RM3.5-4.5K.

Personally I am not in favor of divorcing couples petitioning for Sole Custody of Child. I would advocate Joint Custody. Neither do I like the threats of "selling" your flesh and blood to avoid an impeding divorce. However, I have taken note of "baby selling rackets" in the East Msian States. So, once you have manage to serve your ex to be a single petition for divorce, should he still use this threat again, do make a polis report if you have witnessess or have recorded the conversation. But it is best to be in a conversation with him in the presence of a common friend regarding the divorce.
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answered on Aug 18, 2015 at 23:32
Divorcing couples should share their children. A child needs both Father and Mother.
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answered on Aug 20, 2015 at 04:41
Divorcing couples should share their children if only if there is a joint petition (peaceful end of marriage). Definitely not Bibi's situation.
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