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Custody advice

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asked on Jul 15, 2015 at 00:18
by   Helplesspapa
My wife ask for divorce after the latest arguement.

All the while after the 2nd son is born she keep asking to work and always scold our child viciously and scream when they behave naughty.
i object to the idea of she go to work mainly because i wan our child to be more close to us and worried about their safety both pychical n pycshologicaly...
And even i let her work her income also wont be able to cover the nanny cost.and my income also cant afford another thing share to the nanny.

After she ask for divorce she pack all her belonging n return to her family home.before she go out of my house she throw my eldest son mykid to the floor.

There she goes and jus left both sons to me without another word.i have since taking care of my sons for 3 month on my own without her expressing anything close to wanting to take care/custody of them.

The 1st time she call me to ask for our sons situation is after 11day.the total call she make to talk to ours sons is not more than 10 times during this duration.

Today i receive a call from lawyer n told me she ask for divorce thru this lawyer and list 3 condition that is

1.custody of both childs

2.rm1000 monthly

3.i only can meet my sons once per week.anymore hav to request subject to her approval.

I of course dun agree to the condition.

What can i do to hv the custody of my childs.age 3 and 1  year 9 months.

Is it the law only favor the mother?

Thank you all in advance.
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answered on Jul 15, 2015 at 00:48
by   jebat
For your case, if you want to keep the kids,
you may want to consider moving to a new place and change jobs and all handphone numbers.

If the lawyer call up again, just tell the lawyer you don't agree to all her proposed terms, and will not sign anything. This will buy you time.
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answered on Jul 15, 2015 at 02:23
by   Helplesspapa
I did reply to the lawyer i not agree to the term.

I tel the lawyer i too will find lawyer to deal with this.

I ask lawyer she file divorce single or mutual. Lawyer said is joint and with term.i ask the term then as post above i disagree.

I cant juz quit my job because i will loss income then it will me more disadvantage to me since i cant financially support my childs then.
I want legal custody over my childs.is there sure lose for me?
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answered on Jul 15, 2015 at 03:12
by   jeff005
@ Helplesspapa

1/ There is no need to get a lawyer to fight her divorce lowyer, Just dont agree to the divorce and dont talk to him anymore.

2/ In your case you do not have to worry that your ex to be will get FULL CUSTODY of both children.

3/ You can get Joint legal custody not necessary FULL PHYSICAL CUSTODY.

4/ Calm down and read thru the past few months of posting with wives seeking custody of child below 7 years.

Q's
1/ Do you still want her back?
2/ Do you understand that children do need the love and care of their natural mother?
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answered on Jul 15, 2015 at 08:28
by   Helplesspapa
Nope.she and family have done too much damage to our problem.

I never deny her right to meet our sons as my main priority is my sons.

Seem like i really wont stand a chance to stay with my sons..reli unfair law!
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answered on Jul 15, 2015 at 14:48
by   vkpc
Listen to Jeff. You don't need a lawyer.
Just keep ignoring the calls from your wife's lawyer.
If there are letters about going to court or tribunal, you must go and say you don't agree.
This will buy you time.
Keep dragging this for years until the kids grow up. 
Your wife may also have trouble paying the lawyer if it drags on.  This will make things go even slower.
The older they are, the higher the chances you can get Joint Custody.
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answered on Jul 15, 2015 at 15:43
by   Helplesspapa
I also got consider dont agree to divorced and drag on.
If she were to file by her own side need 2 year unless anything happen?
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answered on Jul 15, 2015 at 15:56
by   jeff005
@ Helplesspapa

1/ Fight if there a good chance to.. Nego (forced them to) if the chances is slim..

2/ The problem with Non Muslim Msian Fathers in divorce cases is that they do not know how to fight. Using lowyers can be a big disadvantage at times. The very good but expensive ones CAN.. but when an ex spouse offers both sides of the lowyers an attractive bonuses, the fight is lopsided.

3/ Seem like i really wont stand a chance to stay with my sons..reli unfair law!
Do listen to words of a survival of a lopsided divorce case. The LAWS is fair. It is when one party becomes obnoxious and asked ONLY for SOLE CUSTODY.. Then for cases of children below 7 years old, the fight for the father is no longer challenging but futile.

To fight for Joint Custody, Joint Agreed Physical Access(awarded by the Hight Court) U need AMMo's and Common Sense of Fair Deal.

Prepare for WAR on JOINT CUSTODY

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answered on Jul 15, 2015 at 19:00
by   Helplesspapa
At thenfirst place ahe keep complaining dont want to take care sons want to go work.say very tired and bored taking care of them.now she wan divorce i agree to it then she want the sons?!i agree at the first place because last time we have agreement if she felt taking care of OWN SONS is such a hated matter then she can leave.i also dont want to wasted her life and let her go while still young so she can maybe get the guy and lifestyle ahe crafted for.

And then she will still go work as insurance agent and ask the 60+ old mother to take care of them.
Wtf is wrong with this family?

If joint custody mean the sons will have like timetable to go here and there. That will greatly disturb his study (next year).and i dunno how much poison will they instill in my sons.

I think i shud play the bad guy and dun agree to any divorce.let this drag on till 2 years later.by then my eldest will be 5 and 3 year 6month
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answered on Jul 15, 2015 at 21:12
by   Disgrunted Father
And then she will still go work as insurance agent and ask the 60+ old mother to take care of them.
Wtf is wrong with this family?

Calm down and think rationally.
Who takes care of the 2 children when you are at work?
Anyway you will be paying
1/ Alimony
2/ Child maintenances plus daycare services
3/ Educational expenses, school transport services
So, what is the issue even a 70yr grandmother is taking of her grandchildren? Even the High Court Divorce Judge favours grandparents.
Family Courts do not work like ordinary Civil Courts.

I think i shud play the bad guy and dun agree to any divorce.let this drag on till 2 years later.by then my eldest will be 5 and 3 year
For your case, can you hide, shift, and change jobs?
If your company is paying you EPF, and i have your i/c no and old address, just give me 60days, I can be on your doorstep.
The more you try to hide from Divorce case, the High Court Judge will award her
1/ Full Custody
2/ Alimony for wife (Higher)
3/ Higher Child maintenances (just in case you run and abscond again)
4/ Full 50% of Marital Assets
5/ Only visitations rights of 1 hour per month. NO ACCESS..!!
6/ An IPO on you to be 100 metres away from any of them ALL YEAR ROUND. IPO renewable every year.

If she gets a real good lawyer, GAME OVER by the most 4th hearing..!!
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answered on Jul 17, 2015 at 16:12
by   Needadvise
I am a father who was given custody of my baby son 8 years ago. My ex left Malaysia and went to US to seek for work and resettlement. Now she is back with a motive to take my son to the US.

RE this Bi_Anne case (http://www.lawyerment.com.my/boards/article-Malaysia_Marriage_Divorce_Law-682.htm)

Can someone familier with this same problem give me an indication how much it would cost me to fight the case in court? I am just an ordinery Admin Senior Clerk in a small trading harware company and do not have excess money for lawyers fees.d
I just need to save money to fight my case only. Please do not ask me why I was divorce. A sad and boring long story that i do not want to dicus again.

Thanking you all in advance.
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