Advertisement

Divorce - Custody of children, alimony and joint assets

681 Views  ⚫  Asked 5 Years Ago
asked on Mar 27, 2015 at 23:09
by  
My wife and I have been separated for 10 years but never divorced. She had an affair with her rich married colleague and left the house after I found out about her affair. We have 3 sons, and all them are in their early teens (12-15 years old) now.

The house my sons, me and her parents are staying in now is registered under my name, her name and one of her parent's name. Her parent only paid for the downpayment for the house, and I have been the one who had been servicing the bank loan all these years alone, and there is another 15 more years to go to fully settle the loan. However, she is now requesting that I pay her half the amount of the valuation of the house in order for her to transfer the house ownership to be solely under my name, as well as to proceed with our divorce. Her divorce terms have not been stated yet, but she wants the custody of our 3 sons.

My question is, what are my options for:
1) Should I initiate the divorce based on her adultery, or should I wait for her to initiate the divorce? I do not have any solid evidence of her adultery.

2) I want the custody of my 3 sons, and they are also on my side as their mother was never really there for them since young. As I need to work in the day, my 3 sons are taken care of by my wife's mother, whom is still staying with my sons and I together in the house. I have been providing for the entire family, including her parents during this period of our separation.

3) How will the house and other assets be allocated should we file for a divorce since it is under my name, her name and her parent's name. Will I only get half, 1/3 or maybe even lesser of the house and assets, if any? What are considered assets that will need to be split?

4) I do not agree with her unreasonable request to pay her half the amount of the valuation of the house to buy out her name and her parent's name in the ownership of the house, as I was the only one who had been servicing the bank loan all these years. Besides, I do not have the ability to pay her the lump sum, and would have to re-finance my housing loan all over again and extend the repayment period. I am however, willing to pay the downpayment sum her parent paid + interest. But she is not agreeable to my request. Will I stand a better chance if we have a contested divorce?

5) Will I need to pay her alimony after our divorce? She is currently working and is still in a relationship with her married colleague. Doubt she will ever get married again. Does this mean I will have to pay her alimony for life?

6) Is there anywhere I can seek help?

Any advise is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!

-Troubled Man
0 had this question
Me Too
0 favorites
Favorite
[ share ]
16 Answers
« Previous   1   2   Next »

answered on Apr 7, 2015 at 21:24
by  
  Sori, the correct reply should be..

To file for divorce, only your name and hers is essentially required.. But eventually, ALL docs must be produced in court. ICs, marriage cert, bank acs,statements of accounts pertaining to the marriage..


Hi Jeff, in this case, since she has not filed for divorce, but is requesting for the documents now. Do I need to give them now? Can't I wait till she file for divorce first before officially requesting for the documents?
I do not know what she is up to, but she is also requesting for my children's medical reports. At the same time, she is trying to sell off our house urgently. Perhaps to tip the scale in her favour, because without the house, she will stand a better chance of winning the custody rights...
0 found this helpful
Helpful

answered on Apr 18, 2015 at 04:00
by  
For custody issue
Your children are old enough to express their views and the judge will take into consideration when deciding custody.  The primary consideration is the welfare of your children.

For the documents
Copies of marriage certificate, IC, birth cert can be obtained from JPN with certain payment. Every competent lawyer should know this. For bank accounts, if she is the joint account holder, she can apply from the bank. But if the account is solely yours, dun give it to her at this stage.

For matrimonial asset
The judge will consider parties’ contribution. Not only in terms of monetary to purchase the house but also whether they had added extra values to the house, taking care of children and cleaning the house.

If divorce is inevitable, you need to start gathering evidences. Including the bank statement that you have been servicing the housing loan, the receipts (legal fee, renovations), her facebook photos , telephone bills, etc . In one particular case, even the son‘s birthday party photos were tendered to show the mother was always MIA.  By the way, you should be careful of any entrapment = provocation purposely done at places that have CCTV. It happens.

My 2 cents
0 found this helpful
Helpful

answered on Apr 18, 2015 at 06:48
by  
@ Troubled Man

Sori for late reply. I really dun know how I missed yr last(this) post.

1/ Earlier you wrote she only wanted photostatcopies of chidren I/C.. birthcerts.. now she wants more docs? Other than your personal banking acs and/or deposits.. give her la.. those other docs are not your soleproprietorship.

2/ she is also requesting for my children's medical reports
Unless your children has some health conditions which you have not "selesai", she may want to blame you... BUT it may also shows there is joint negligence on her part since your mother-in-law is also taking care..

3/At the same time, she is trying to sell off our house urgently
Let her sell la.. I have said you are only 1/3 owner. The house is no longer yours the moment she shifted out/separated 10 years ago. The faster the house is sold the better you are (my personal opinion).

4/ Perhaps to tip the scale in her favour, because without the house, she will stand a better chance of winning the custody rights...
I do not see any leverage in this "move". In fact it works in your favor for full custody. Why do you think so..??

I have written, your fight is not for the custody of the children (which eventually you will get) but fight to get out of this mess if there is an inevitable divorce and be financially more stable. I will only share with you my personal views once she files a divorce petition and I need to know what are the T&C stated in the petition. From there you make your next move. I cannot write it out in a public forum, Both sexes is reading. Some may agree, some may not.. i may end up the next victim not u..!!!

Be a generous father, ask for joint custody of the children and ask for child counselors to evaluate in court in the presence of the Judge, who the children wants to stay with. In a High Court of Law, If all the children says wants to stay with you.. YOU GET FULL ACCESS RIGHTS ( FULL PHYSICAL CUSTODY ).. Is that a issue?? If your mother-in-law and ex-wife to be, has taken very good care of the children and they says wants to follow pohpoh and mummy.. u should have no qualms.. u have failed as a father too...

her facebook photos
Since she has a rich MARRIED lover, i doubt you can get anything from her facebook.

Samantha has given you very important pointers
1/ even the son‘s birthday party photos were tendered to show the mother was always MIA.
2/ you should be careful of any entrapment = provocation purposely done at places that have CCTV. It happens.
3/ My 2 cents
Wrong..!! She has given you 98cents out of 100sense.. That is the actual experiences in a divorce court.

If you still feel comfortable with the actual legal advice from a divorce lawyer go read my posting at..

.. http://www.lawyerment.com.my/boards/article-Malaysia_Marriage_Divorce_Law-1301.htm

There are 3 ppl whom you can get quotations from in the event of an inevitable divorce. The last listed one is that gurl up there^^^^^^^.
0 found this helpful
Helpful

answered on Apr 18, 2015 at 06:56
by  
..

@ xin

R u filing the Notis Kehadiran..??

It is a sincere invitation..

Jeff
0 found this helpful
Helpful

answered on Apr 20, 2015 at 16:08
by  
@ Sam

Any feedback from you would be much appreciated for the case below..

.. http://www.lawyerment.com.my/boards/article-Malaysia_Business_Consumer_Bankruptcy_Law-3114.htm

Tq..
0 found this helpful
Helpful

answered on Apr 22, 2015 at 19:08
by  
Hi sorry Jeff, just saw your post. I am very sorry, I am not trained in banking law. So I am really not in a position to assist on that topic.  Apology for that.
0 found this helpful
Helpful


« Previous   1   2   Next »

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions by category or search to find answers.