I want a divorce but am pregnant and jobless. Should I wait till the baby is born? How to ensure I get the child custody?

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asked on Dec 13, 2014 at 10:32
edited on Jul 7, 2016 at 04:25
I am married to my husband less than a year and I am now 6 months pregnant. But his parents have planned on splitting us apart and accuse me with harsh words and threatening me. My husband just keeps quiet and yells at me for no reasons. He has cheated on me before. He threaten me to listen to his parents do what they ask me too.

I am 24 this year and he is 23. I quit my job after I got pregnant. Since then I have been living with my parents. His parents accused me and my parents which do not make me feel good and unbearable to live a married life like this. I want a divorce and he is okay with it.

But I want to know if we are able to divorce since we married less than 2 years. What about allowance and child custody ? Or should I wait till the child is born then only apply for divorce ? Please help me. I do not want to be apart from my future kids. What is the process of divorce? How much it will cost? How the arrangement of allowance as I am not working now?

If you are lawyer and think that you could help please contact me. Thank you so much! I need help indeed.
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answered on Dec 13, 2014 at 20:51
edited Jul 7, 2016 at 02:24
You can start divorce proceedings only after 2 years.

This is not a Quotation.
1. Single petition - duration 10-20 months - RM8,000++. If one party fights RM12,000++ duration 2-3 years. For more than 3 years, RM20,000-RM30,000. Pay deposit in advance! For fights for child custody add 50%.

2. Mutual Petition - RM4,000-RM5,9000. Duration 8-10 months, if fight for child custody RM8,000-RM12,000. Pay deposit in advance!

3. "Allowance"..?? You can work but don't want to work, what allowance do you expect? Get a JOB after confinement!

4. "Child custody".. If you cannot afford the child, please give the child to the father! Your child is with you now, what custody do you want?

5. Any lawyer in Malaysia sure can help you.. just $$$$$$$$$$$$... Just that there is NO JUSTICE FOR THE UNBORN CHILD!

6. A family relationship problem extended to the unborn child... is this JUSTICE?
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answered on Dec 13, 2014 at 22:35
edited Jul 7, 2016 at 02:51
Thanks for your reply.

I can only start divorcing after 2 years? What if it's a mutual petition?

He has been passive and not willing to talk to me. I cannot stand it for any longer.  We are living separately. I will work after confinement, just my current state is stopping me from working. I am having twins pregnancy. This is stressful enough but I know I have to settle this. I am trying to run an online business at home now. Definitely I will work after but just that my pay will not be higher than his. He is an engineer working in Singapore. It does not mean I have to give out my kids to him just because he earns more isn't it?

He said he will pass the kids to his parents. I rather to take good care of my twins, there are other stuff that I can provide them beside the financial matter. If I have to support them financially all by own, it will be difficult. I feel that it's a responsibility for him to maintain our living too since the children are innocent. The family problems have lead us to this stage. It will be even brutal if the problems extends after the children born and having them gone through everything.

He is not willing to talk and solve our problems. He is not willing to pick up the phone and even his parents are ignoring. His dad insulted me and yelled at me and he did not protect me.

If we both agreed to divorce, can I proceed? If I have evidence of him insulting me and evidence of him cheated me before is it enough to divorce? Do I get wife maintenance now since I am not able to work? And after the children are born, I want the children to stay with me and he is responsible for the financial support for the kids too after isn't it?
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answered on Dec 13, 2014 at 23:44
edited Jul 7, 2016 at 02:54
My personal opinions..

1. Repeat.. Divorce can start only after 2 years of marriage.
2. You are too young to get into such mess.
3. About your divorce (both agreed)? What are the opinions of his parents and your parents?
4. Are you the only child in your family? What about HIM?
5. In what manner you left your marital home?
6. How or can your parents support you in the future?

My advice (because of the twins I write) is:-
1. Do not divorce.
2. Reconcile with him. Both of you are too young to understand what is "family" and how to live with other people.
3. Family blessed with twins are gifts from heaven. Is your hubby non-Chinese?
4. Whichever spouse asking for divorce is asking is NOT only breaking up the family but also the twins!
5. Any lawyer can tell you that a child under 7 goes to the mother. But I beg to differ!

You reserve your rights not to reply on any of the above and I shall also reserve my rights to remark sarcastically, but all for the betterment of the twins... I shall reply, if any, after dinner hours. I am also a single parent father looking after a child....
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answered on Dec 26, 2014 at 03:46
edited Jul 7, 2016 at 03:25
Child under 7 years old will normally go to the mother UNLESS the husband can prove the wife to be an unfit mother. The father needs to maintain the child after divorce. Go to Bar Council Legal Aid Centre for advice IF you can't afford a lawyer. Get legal advice from the appropriate person.
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answered on Dec 26, 2014 at 04:49
edited Jul 7, 2016 at 03:11
Father gets one..
Mother gets one..
Fair and square.

To break up a pair of twins for personal ego and differences... ?@#$!!!
Advocaters of divorces... ?@#$!!!
Advocaters of divorces for money gains... ?@#$!!! burn and roast in... ?@#$!!!

BTW...  Bar Council Legal Aid Centre (BCLAC) does not deal with divorces tainted with relationship problems. Even BCLAC can be sued for advocating DIVORCES.
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answered on Dec 29, 2014 at 16:19
edited Jul 7, 2016 at 03:12
@Hahahaaa, Seriously?

Please don't give comment that is not constructive. You have no idea about family law nor Bar council Legal Aid Centre (LAC) and the fantastic work there are doing there. Your nick name suggests that you are nothing but a joker. People come here for help, not jokes from you. If you are frustrated with things, deal with it, get help, don't drag others down with you.
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answered on Dec 29, 2014 at 16:26
edited Jul 7, 2016 at 03:13
And there is no cause of action for advocating DIVORCES. In simple terms, you can't be sued for that. Knowledge can be gained. Ignorance can be cured by gaining knowledge, but stupidity is forever.

Go and read:
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answered on Dec 29, 2014 at 17:12
Sam Chong,

Are you a lawyer?
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answered on Dec 29, 2014 at 20:09
edited Jul 7, 2016 at 03:16
Yes, I am. I just get so ****ed off when people who have no idea about law defame Bar Council Legal Aid Centre (BCLAC).
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answered on Dec 31, 2014 at 23:27
edited Jul 7, 2016 at 03:49
@sam chong

The father needs to maintain the child after divorce.

If the father files for divorce.. YES.. if he loses custody. If the wife files for divorce, not necessary 100% pay for child living expenses. Jointly wife is accountable for 50% of child living expenses. Lawyers study LAWS and use it only to bully people but they are totally ignorant on the accounting principles of joint and severally financial responsibilities. See how lawyers bill people exponentially and not following any standard charges because they never have any accounting knowledge and principles. Why he challenges me on knowledge of laws only. Why doesn't he challenge me on accounting codes of conduct, for another matter, laws of human morality?

The lawyers have probably contacted janelle even him. He just want to post and irritate me because I was just trying to discourage divorces especially it involves "TWINS". Easy to take care of two at the same time for a single mother? Even two parents taking care of one child is a taxing task, of course, unless you are rich!

Nowadays, young couples are educated and is in the working industry. How can a mother says, I want to stop working, I want divorce, I want the children and ex-husband pays for everything? Hahahaa.. the court does not see things like that anymore. Only lawyers misled single mothers to be like that for the exorbitant fees!

I cannot sue Bar Council Legal Aid Centre (BCLAC) for advocating divorces? Playing poker to "big" me? Any organisation registered with the Registry of Societies (ROS) can be sued! I do not need a lawyer to represent me to file a suit in sessions court. Do-It-Yourself.. of course, the Senior Assistant Registrar (SAR), Assistant Registrar (AR), Magistrate can strike it out to help the legal profession. But once I have a copy of the suit, it will be online within days, see what Sisters in Islam (SIS), Women's Aid Organisation (WAO), and other non-governmental organisations (NGOs) say.. condemn me?... hahahaa.. well I could be famous overnight..!! Probably Justice4Fathers may sent me monies to help me out..

I won't know if the Ministry of Family Affairs will come after me and put me into jail for NOT advocating senseless divorces due to differences in opinions in a husband and wife relationship.

Others advocating for divorces may not know the real reasons behind the scene, but when it involves custody of child PLEASE DO THINK OF THE FEELINGS OF THE CHILD WHEN HE or SHE GROWS UP. Don't be like Bi-ANNE situation.
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