Just want some opinion & sugestion

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asked on Sep 4, 2013 at 21:16
by   Sharon
If I want a divorce, Do I have the opportunity to win full custody of the child if the Husband have trouble with his family and had mental problems since he childhood.. I never know from the beggining until i lived with my family- in -law.... They also never say anything or tell me about that problem.
I dont have any document from his medical but i can see his behaviors, attitudes and reactions to others. I also heard his other family member And others said that he have mental problem. But i am not sure how serious his illness..
I do not sure. What can I do And how to solve this problem. I dont want to divorce. Thank you...
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answered on Sep 8, 2013 at 04:10
by   Samantha Chong
The court will normally give custody to the mother if the child is below 7 years old. The welfare of the child comes first.  You definitely have  an upper hand if you can prove that your husband is not fit to raise the child. If you have any further inquiry, please email me at . thank you
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answered on Sep 10, 2013 at 14:50
by   bourkey
You started off with "if i want to divorce... blablabla" and ended up with " i dont want to divorce"..

so what kind of direction you really want?

as a friend, i would suggest you to think of a way to help your husband. be it to talk to him about his problems or persuade him to see a psychiatrist , i dont know.
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answered on Sep 12, 2013 at 21:08
by   Sharon
Samantha Chong thank you for your information & suggestion. I appreciated it...
Bourkey actually for this time, I never think to divorce with my husband. I also
Want to help him but how I can do that..? I had a problem to explain to him.
I don't know how to tell him about his problem. He look like a normal person.
I think he still was aware of what he was doing. Sometimes he lost focus.
I ask something easy question but The answer is not consistent with my question.
He answer me but our communication is not so good.
I want to try to take counseling together or take the QHE but I know he don't.
Sometimes, he appeared indifferent. He did not show a significant reaction..
I confused. I said like that because.. If someday I can't stand it, Can i still get a chance to win full custody of our child..
Now my child still young below 7 years old.
I just worried if someday he divorce me when our child grown. Thanks....
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answered on Jun 14, 2014 at 02:10
by   Justice4Fathers
U married this guy and you still dunno him..?? Is he a good husband and father..?? if not perfect,. is he good to you?? If he is, give him the benefit of doubt.. Dont listen too much from others, if he is not under any medication, then he is not ill.. Any mental problems he has may be in the past,  under work or study stress or anything besides with his own parents, siblings... he may be poor in communication skills but as long as he is a loving husband or father, be patient.
If you divorce him it may trigger off depression..then he goes "mental".. Do you want your child to think his father has a mental problem and that he/she may become so in the later stage of life..?? You would be stressing your own child instead..
He may be an introvert, keep things to himself, but then he is non aggressive.. Give yourself and your child a better chance to have a good family life..
The more ppl says he is mentally ill and reject him.. the more he turn "mental", so, a wife love and his child love, he would be normal..
Please dont lose hope on him..
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answered on Jul 25, 2014 at 15:00
by   Sharon
" Justice4father "
Now our married already 5-6 years. That mean I care most about Him.
From the beggining, I respect Him, I Do what I can Do for Him.
I respect HIS family, HIS Friend.. And all thing I Do for Him. I always trying
My best but he look like never care, never touched with my sacrificed.
I told Him, if he had a problem.. He can tell me anything because I always
Beside Him but he make me give up, leave me with many question..
He never share HIS problem with me. He keep silent... So how?
I ignore my own need and follow Him everywhere, accepted all weakness,
Dont say, I m a bad woman.. I Do what I can Do and not more than my patience.
The truth is pain most, but the most suffer is be patience for lifetime.
Thanks for u advice...
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answered on Jul 25, 2014 at 20:49
by   justice4fathers

It is nice and assuring to hear you are doing patience. Some men are introverts, maybe due to family conditions during teen age.

My reservations is on the child, you have to make sure there is good bonding between child and father. If even his only child do not respect him, there is nothing worthwhile to live for.

Man change when 20, then change again when marry, then change when have family, then again change when 40, and when reach 50 mature, and vice versa.

If he is non agreesive to child and wife, bear with his "short-comings", there is always a silver lining in the dark clouds.

If he is not that "normal", he would left you by now, no need to wait till child grown up.

Most fathers and MEN, are not beasts nor irrational, it is the ppl behind the scene that creates issues and doubts.. they are just interloppers.. do not listen to them, listen to your heart, and the heart of of your child.. The mental upbringing of your child is equally impt, dont let the child loses the father during a divorce. It is lose,lose situation for ALL.. the biggest loser.. YOUR CHILD..

I wish your family, pa, ma, child, happiness and peaceful living..

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answered on Aug 26, 2014 at 00:49
by   Sharon

Thanks for ur advice.. That nice to talking with you.
Are you an adviser? Lawyerment's staf?
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answered on Aug 26, 2014 at 20:27
by   justice4fathers
No, no, none of the above..

I am a divorcee with lots of malicious false accusations thrown onto my face by ex-in-laws, ex-wife siblings, ex-wife High Court Divorce Low-yer and interloopers.

I do not advocate divorce, but in a dead relationship between husband and wife, I advocate at least JC for child..

I understand yr plight, i was in a similar situation thus understanding u and yr husband feelings.. But do we understand the feelings of our child when he/she grows up.?? Ask any lowyers, they would tell you u sure win sole custody for child 7 years and below, there is no need for their services then, cant blame them, it is a big source of income for them..

Utimately, in any divorce, whether SC or JC, the child will be the biggest loser..

Exercise good bonding between Pa/Ma/Child.. End result HAPPY FAMILY..!!

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answered on Aug 27, 2014 at 01:49
by   vkpc
Even if one parent has custody, the other parent should have visitation rights.
Do not try to block the visitation. If you do, your child will blame you and desert you later in life.
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answered on Aug 28, 2014 at 14:04
by   Sharon
your situation is same as me. They know who my husband and
sometimes I find that they instigated him.
I feel my husband more receptive to his family and friends
rather than me ( as a wife ). At home he just Sit playing
His phone. When I asked Him Sometime, he just reply 'yes', 'no'
'Maybe' & anything. I was stressed.
I need a man who is can talking anything. Joke, laught &
Not more. But I though he never care about me anymore.
Its 5-6 years he was like that. Treat me as nothing. That make me
Bored.  I think you also ever felt that situation right?
When people you really need betrayed you.  That very hurting..
Only me always tolerated in every situation and he just look like no feeling.
Sometimes, Teach the kids with wrong words, habit... & something...
I just worried about my kids not ruin the relationship between father & kids.
Actually I was felt guilty because It look I  told people about my problem.
But sometimes I can be like this. I must throw out what inside my heart.
I don't know what will  happen in future...  I just hoping in God & my effort.
Sometimes I was give up but my kids is my strength.
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