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Dutch ex-partner ran away. Unmarried Malaysian living overseas with his child.

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asked on Jan 12, 2018 at 19:50
by   Esk80
edited on Apr 4, 2018 at 15:37
 
I am unmarried and I live in Holland. The man who brought me to here ran away with other woman when I was pregnant with his 3rd child. He even asked for abortion. So I didn't fill in his info in birth certificate. 

1. Is that possible for her to get Malaysian citizen? She has no nationality now.
2. Is that possible to not to let him recognized her? He is now wanna claim her and want to have shared custody.
3. I went to court yesterday, the judge wants to ignore Malaysian laws and grants him recognition, change of surname, maybe later custody also. Is there any Malaysian laws to protect me and my girls?
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answered on Jan 12, 2018 at 21:16
by   jeff005
edited Feb 5, 2018 at 02:36
 
1.  Is that possible for her to get Malaysian citizen? She has no nationality now. 
She is a Malaysian by  International Laws in the absence of a Father name there on the birth certificate.

2.  Is that possible to not to let him recognized her? 
No.. He is filing a Paternity suit. You ran away or he ran away? He file this suit on what grounds?

3.   I went to court yesterday,  the judge wants to ignore Malaysian laws
Yes the judge can, but for this 3rd child without his name on the birth certificate, can the Judge ignore  International Laws.?  Are you a Muslim? Did you have legal representation yesterday?

4.   Is there any Malaysian  laws to protect me and my girls?
Seek help from our Malaysia Embassy / Consulate there. You are in Rome now, follow the laws of Rome.

Questions:
5.  Esk80.. you are 38 now? How old is your "un-wed husband". What career is he is? Has he got pensions benefits? In Government services?

6.  I am not very clear about what you have posted. His 3rd child is by you, his 1st and 2nd child is also bore by you? If  YES  .. The other children have his name as father on their birth certificates?

7.  On what grounds you are living in Holland now? Are you a legal there? Are you working?

Legal Recourse
8.  In the absence of a Legal Marriage,  there are  Cohabitation Laws in Holland. You can seek alimony for yourself, living expenses for yourself and the 3 children. Educational expenses for the children.

9.  You can seek a portion of his pension fund if he is in the government services.  (even if he dies suddenly now) via a court order.

10,  Are you and the 3 children living in Matrimonial Home now.  Do not shift out.  He has to provide accommodation.

11.  You can seek an Legal Injunction to prevent change of names of the children.

12.  How old are the other children? If they are old enough to attend court, and if the girls want to live with you he can only file for Joint Legal Custody, whereas you can file for Full Physical and Legal Custody but giving him reasonable access custody (if he gets JLC).

13.  How many years he has  "abandoned" you?

Illegal Recourse
14. If you are an illegal immigrant, go seek help from our Malaysian Embassy. Get Temporary docs for yourself and the children and fly out now, (if he did not file an injunction to prevent you and the children from leaving Holland).

Answer all my questions diligently and add more that may help you.

Note: Child Protection Laws are very strong in Holland, unlike Malaysia with poor enforcement. It is to your advantage if there are no wrong doings on your part even if you are a Muslim.  Better still if you are a Muslim (hahaha).
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answered on Jan 12, 2018 at 23:17
by   Esk80
edited Feb 5, 2018 at 02:31
 
1. Malaysia embassy in Holland said without married certificate, my girls 100% impossible to get Malaysian nationalities.

2. He ran away. He abandoned all of us. But the house was under his name, so he had to pay the mortgage and always threatening me to kick me out. It happened since August 2014. He sent a file to court and mentioned he didn't know I was pregnant. When my lawyer sent the proofs to court, he said I told him I had a miscarriage.

3. They always said about international laws, but I dunno what is that about. I am a Chinese and I have a Dutch lawyer. And curator for my youngest and my lawyer kept on emphasized not to ignore Malaysian laws. His lawyer said I am not Muslim so the law is not there to protect me.

4. I am in Holland. Embassy here told me everything is impossible but they told a Malay in Holland, they can provide her a way to go back to Malaysia without anyone knows.

5. 6 years younger than me. He has a job with not high income.

6. 3 are from the same father. 2 had his surnames but he asked me to abortion her and never ask about my pregnancy at all. Even threatening me and gave me a lot of stress and made my pregnancy not went well. At 1st no heartbeat and then Baby was too small when I was pregnant. 

7. Last time he signed the cohabitant status and will financially support me. Now I got government allowance and study, I stayed here based on reunion with Europe members(my daughters). This year I can apply for Dutch Nationality in December and once its approved,  my 3rd girl will get Dutch nationality as well.

8. It's all paid by government and he paid €109 per month for the children alimentation.

9. He tried to apply for government job, but failed in IQ test.

10. I got monthly allowance from government and its enough to pay for rental. The amount is fixed, he paid 109 so the government will -109.

11. I dunno what is that..

12. He didn't want to live with them. But want to take them 1 weekend for every 14 days and half of school holidays. We moved away from his parents because they were abusive. Now he moved back because he didn't have to pay for rental.

13. I lived in Belgium with him since February 2012. September 2013 we moved to Holland and August 2014 he ran away.

14. I am legally stay in Holland. Malaysian embassy never want to do anything even I wrote them my story.

Thanks.
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answered on Jan 13, 2018 at 01:19
by   jeff005
edited Feb 5, 2018 at 02:29
 
Wow..  so much complications.

Let me take a night cap and ponder on your issues.

Malaysian embassy never want to do anything even I wrote them my story. 
without married certificate, my girls 100% impossible to get Malaysian nationalities. 
Inaccurate to use the 100%. Something could have trigger that response. It is unbecoming of them to have such attitudes.

You are student now right, do researches on Malaysian Constitutional Laws.
You cannot rely on your lawyer. He can't do it properly, the language is Dutch in court, rite.?. Read on child European child custody laws and expand on your knowledge. Only by reading can you help your lawyers to fight well for you.

Read backwards the past 1 year in this section of the forum on Marriage laws, Immigration issues with regards to children and Constitutional Laws (mostly intellectual arguments). You might find a window of opportunity to help in fight to prevent him from changing your 3rd child's name. In any case, he cannot change without your consent as he has seek Joint Custodianship and wider spectrum of physical access. Depending on what was in  Cohabitant agreement, you may be able to block a few key issues.

Your lawyer asked you to post on this Lawyerment Website to seek help? You have not answered the ages of your children as at today. There is a window there..!! Your 3rd child has "Chinese name"? Tell me at what ages they have to attend school in Holland and at what age they have to change school / colleges.

Holland accepts Dual Nationality right? You cannot hope to get a lot of things if you do not quote appropriate Malaysian Laws. You are entitle to within your rights, but since you are studying and on welfare, you may not be able to seek legal advises as legal fees here are not cheap too.

Get your lawyer to do a Full transcript in English in legal terms on the  Cohabitant agreement and post here.

P.S... I am not a lawyer. Please do not expect miracles..!!
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answered on Jan 13, 2018 at 01:32
by   jeff005
They always said about international laws, but I dunno what is that about.
It is also  "Common Laws"  adopted by international communities.
Read on  Trite Laws  on child custody issues.
You have to work very hard to fight your case. Not all lawyers are good in child custody.

Get your lawyer to post here on the prognosis of your case for discussion. We may learn from each other..!!
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answered on Jan 13, 2018 at 08:59
by   Esk80
They are now 5, 4 and 2 years old.

Malaysian embassy in Holland told me 100% impossible so I cannot do anything and I couldn't find the case u have mentioned.

Our cohabitant status was ended after he met the woman, he cancelled it so he could kick me out from Europe. I can still legal stay here because my ID card here allowed me to stay for 5 years. And I recently got a new card in September 2017. My permit to stay allowed me to work.  

My lawyer didn't ask me to ask for help here but I wanna know more because the court will decided if he could recognized my youngest girl before end of January. The cohabitant agreement is not the matter in this point.

Government here help me and they pay for my lawyers, rental, grocery, study and etc. I am learning Dutch language so that I can be integrated into Holland society. I have 2 lawyers, one to handle my permit to stay and another one to handle children custody and recognition. 

My lawyer will never post anything here. And I just wonder if Malaysian laws still applies here when I live here. I just trying to figure out is there a way to stop him to recognize her because I was afraid he will harm her(and also the other 2). 
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answered on Jan 13, 2018 at 10:13
by   vkpc
Government here help me and they pay for my lawyers, rental, grocery, study and etc. I am learning Dutch language so that I can be integrated into Holland society. I have 2 lawyers, one to handle my permit to stay and another one to handle children custody and recognition.

You want to stay in Holland, so why you keep asking about getting Malaysian Citizenship for the kids?
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answered on Jan 13, 2018 at 11:45
by   jeff005
edited Feb 5, 2018 at 02:25
 
Personal opinions (non legal non intrusive)

The cohabitant agreement is not the matter in this point. 
Even a court judge can fall into errors. This agreement is also important even though it has been cancelled. He has admitted legally that he has been in a relationship with you before and thus the children is not in a position of "statelessness". If they are, Holland Laws, with the new laws and procedures introduced currently, they may be in a position for deportation in the near future. Never mind, this is just my interpretation of their current Immigration laws and newly introduced bylaws and procedures.

Your case, I analysed it as that these  are the issues raised.
1.  There is no doubt that there is not a need that he wants to change the 1st and 2nd child surname, but with Full Legal custodianship of the 3rd child, he may try to do that. If he is asking in court for Joint Legal Custody, by Malaysian Laws, he cannot do that.

2.  The 3rd child is a Malaysian Citizen (have to apply when born of 1 foreign parent) by Malaysian Constitutional Laws in the absence of a Father's name, even by applying International Laws, the child follows the citizenship of the Mother. Are you still a Malaysian? Have you renounced Malaysian Citizenship?

3. What you are trying to do is to block him from touching the 3rd child (at the very most), am I correct? What is the logic of splitting the siblings? Your 3rd child has to come back and be physically here to make any applications. If you have told Malaysian Embassy official your intention to get Dutch Nationality, for sure the answer is 100%. They would not even attempt to try to help you out. Wasting their time, just for this court case only, they are not helping Malaysians of the future.
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answered on Jan 13, 2018 at 12:40
by   jeff005
edited Feb 5, 2018 at 02:22
 
Personal opinions (non legal non intrusive) 

And curator for my youngest and my lawyer kept on emphasized not to ignore Malaysian laws.
100% accurate. Only if one can apply the laws effectively.

His lawyer said I am not Muslim so the law is not there to protect me.
Highly inaccurate. While being a Muslim, additional bylaws, currently in place now, can be an added advantage but those protection is ending soon in European Countries. Malaysian Constitutional Laws states that you are a "Malay" and you are a MALAYsian.
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answered on Jan 13, 2018 at 13:17
by   jeff005
edited Feb 5, 2018 at 02:20
 
Personal opinions (non legal non intrusive)  

Your Case Facts
I have 2 lawyers,
court will decided if he could recognized my youngest girl before end of January.
You have come to this forum late, time is too short to make changes and you do have legal representation.

I shall make comments based on your initial Query.
1.  Is that possible for her to get Malaysian citizen?
The answer is  YES.. and she is not stateless.

2. Is that possible to not to let him recognized her?
Yes.. if your lawyers is streetwise not just reading documented cases and precedents.

3.  the judge wants to ignore Malaysian laws and grants him recognition, change of surname, maybe later custody also.
Malaysian Laws cannot be applied in Dutch Courts, but you can  INVOKE  Malaysian Laws as you are still a Malaysian and you have been raised in Malaysia holding and practising those laws.

4.   And I recently got a new card in September 2017.
While showing to our Malaysian Embassy to prove your legal rights to be there overseas, some of these  ID card indicates that you would be not coming back. Hence their un-cooperative attitude.

5.  12. He didn't want to live with them. But want to take them 1 weekend for every 14days and half of school holidays. But want to take them 1 weekend for every 14days
This application can be blocked. There is a child protection law in Europe of which a father may not have overnight access of female child for fear of child abuse. Even granted, there must be evidence of the female child having own room, not shared room with the father. You can state this living condition if he is granted access. Grant him day access, you cannot deny him any access.

6. the judge wants to ignore Malaysian laws and grants him recognition, change of surname, maybe later custody also.  
Is that what the Judge indicated? Do not be too premature and too presumptuous, alarming and stressing yourself again. There are existing strong child protection laws in Holland.

7.  because I was afraid he will harm her(and also the other 2). 
What makes you think so? Has he abused you physically?  Has he been charged under  DVAs  in Holland? If he has, he will get very very limited access to any child.
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answered on Jan 14, 2018 at 22:40
by   Tanavaroot
edited Feb 5, 2018 at 02:18
 
@ Esk80

Why don't you post out the full transcript of what is this court filing is. There are some which are not very clear. Go step by step, settle this part first, forget what he may do next time. If he loses, he can't do it. If he wins and got what he wants, there may be more in the pipeline.

Analysis of the case.
I went to court yesterday,  
Did you attend? Did he attend?

the judge wants to ignore Malaysian laws
What Malaysian Laws did your lawyers file that the judge wants to ignore?

and grants him recognition,
Grants him recognition as the Father? You have admitted that he is the father from your post.. Quote "When my lawyer sent the proofs to court"

He is now wanna claim her and want to have shared custody. 
Shared Custody, can mean shared parenting. Does he have the time, energy and facilities to do so?

maybe later custody also
Is this your assumption? If he is claiming shared custody, he cannot changed the name of this child without your consent. Even in shared custody.. Both have legal rights. There will be no changes unless both parties agree.

From your unclear postings one can't assume is that this filing includes all the 3 children or for this 3rd child only?

 he paid €109 per month for the children alimentation.
Does this amount included for this 3rd child as you have mentioned that "the cohabitant was cancelled when he met the new woman". Is there any child alimentation (for this child)?
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