Trouble With Neighbour

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asked on Mar 17, 2017 at 00:37
by   Born Loser
edited on Apr 3, 2017 at 06:13
As the subject matter states, my problems began with my neighbour from hell.  Much apologies for the long-winded story but its necessary to understand what has happened. 

Mom and I have been renting an apartment in PJ for more than 17 years - medium cost.  In all that time we NEVER had an incident with any neighbour or neighbours. Otherwise I doubt my landlord would allow me to stay that long.  we are 2 senior citizens - 1 in her 70s and 1 in her 50s, we avoid trouble at all costs. 

Exactly a year ago my immediate neighbour brought his dad to stay with him. Since we hardly communicate with the neighbour, we minded our own business. However the dad had other ideas, he started harassing us verbally, every time we came out of the apartment or on the way in; he would stop us and make unnecessary remarks.  Example of the remarks below : 

a. Cant you open your mouth and talk ?
b. You.......are very proud ?
c. One day you and your mother are going to die inside and no one will even know about it.

NO we do not know who this person is!!!  He would spy on us, listen to our conversations - my mom has a hearing problem so have to speak a bit loud.  When he sees me, he would comment on my conversation with my mother.

He would literally ambush me when I go to the nearby shop and I became a prisoner in our own home.  One day he ambushed me at the post box...shouting at me saying I was too proud etc etc etc.  NO NO NO he's not senile or nyanyuk. He does not do this to other neighbours. That's the problem.

Long story short, I asked for a meeting with his son and daughter-in-law. Only the daughter in law came and of course promised the sky.  Things were quite for a while, then he acted up this time with our friends - mostly ladies around our age. They felt very uncomfortable and he would harass my mom when he saw her. One scenario :

My lady friend wished him - he purposely sits outside the apartment blocks the path to my unit which is in the corner.. He stood up and went close to her and asked her to give him a smile. I know..this is Ham Sup case. Every lady friend of mine had this treatment.

Last month was the last straw - he actually asked the Pos Laju guy what he is delivering to me and where it is from.  On top of that I caught him SPITTING purposely in my corner and over the balcony, below people hang their clothes to dry, definitely they will blame me.  I informed his son and daughter in law even asked them to bring the dad for a talk, they said I am the only one that complains, he's just an old man.  I kept quiet.  Then he did it again last Tuesday and I lost it, I really lost it. I screamed at him, every foul word (I didn't even know that I knew those words). Mother came, stopped me and I called the in-house security to report it.  That evening the son came to see us but we were not in. 

Since then I have overheard the son talking to his personal friends who are staying on other floors. Of course he has his supporters (after all he drives BMW), I have heard them say 'you should teach her a lesson etc etc etc.....". From what I see - its an EGO and pride problem with the son. That's why he is blackening my name with all the neighbours. Furthermore he owns his apartment and I am only renting. 

ALL I WANT to know is WHAT can he do lawfully or on his own to make my life miserable? Trust me this man is extremely prideful.

Anger never pays and conflicts are never solved with anger. Too late a lesson learned.
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5 Answers

answered on Mar 17, 2017 at 06:12
by   jeff005
edited Apr 3, 2017 at 06:13
ALL I WANT to know is WHAT can he do lawfully or on his own to make my life miserable ? 
Nothing much except he can claim you tried to seduce him sexually.

You should worry what are the illegal ways he can make your life miserable.

Calm down and see if he dares to do some more stupid irritating nonsense after your screams.

he purposely sits outside the apartment blocks the path to my unit which is in the corner..
Simple, just use the staircase which is located at the corner or end of each floor. Walk down one floor to take the lifts.

Go buy a handphone which can record and make video. Switch in on everytime you see him near you. Once you have enough proof, make a police report.
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answered on Mar 17, 2017 at 19:26
by   School of painful knocks
edited Apr 3, 2017 at 06:33
Friend in need you have my sympathies, 

Firstly you are right, anger never solves anything...only worsens the situation. 

2. The PERSON you screamed at could probably make a Police Report. Any witnesses? 

3. Please remember in this wonderful age of technology and as we see so often in the news; situations and incidents can be misconstrued. We are human beings after all and stuff happens but if you were the only one shouting and are the aggressor to those watching so you gain instant fame in social media. 

4. You mentioned you are renting.....your neighbour on the other hand is an owner. Mr BMW can approach your landlord and make issues.  Again this depends on how malicious Mr BMW is. Worse case your landlord ask you to vacate.  Hopefully you move to a more conducive environment.  Believe me when I say things are not going to improve, your neighbour is now your enemy and he will be looking for ways and means to make you miserable.

5. Like most apartment buildings these days, the management comprises of a local residents committee - yes, one of your neighbours could be on the board etc etc. Depending on who Mr BMW's cronies are, it will be same scenario.  Force your landlord to make you leave, citing bad behaviour blah blah blah. BTW, did the security file a report ? My guess is NO because its a case of he said she said.  Have you got video proof of the fella spitting? So come back to Domestic Dispute.

6. You mentioned you heard him talking to the neighbours about you? The usual tactic.....gossip and slander a person. You cant win as he's trying to get people on his side by kicking up a fuss. Ignore them and don't do what he's doing. Hopefully there are neighbours who can think for themselves and leave you alone.  

Friend, this is no longer about who is right and who is wrong.  This is PRIDE issue and like all prideful people, Mr BMW feels he has lost face.  You can try to apologise to the son but you would be wasting your time. This kind of people don't want apologies. For your sake, I hope Mr BMW considers you as too low level for his attention and forgets about the whole incident. After all, how it would look this fella with his 'money' causing problems for 2 senior citizens - women on top of that.

I also suspect the BULLY is now acting like an Angel?  All you can do right now is wait and see, I know its difficult.  You can file something called a Defensive Report with the Police but you need to prove that your neighbour intends to harm you. Very sticky situation. 

Perhaps its the Universe way of telling you to move so take it as a positive action. No use living next to a BULLY and that is what he and his father are...bullies.

I have lived in apartments for more than 20 years and faced my share of bullies.
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answered on Mar 18, 2017 at 13:06
by   vkpc
edited Apr 3, 2017 at 06:34
1. He stood up and went close to her and asked her to give him a smile.
2. I screamed at him, every foul word (I didn't even know that I knew those words).

Can you guess which one is the neighbour from hell, 1. or 2.?
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answered on Mar 18, 2017 at 16:34
by   vkpc
Can you guess which one is the neighbour from hell, 1. or 2. ?
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answered on Mar 25, 2017 at 17:49
by   dalx
edited Apr 3, 2017 at 06:35
I think you did the right thing reaching out to his children and meeting about it. But they don't seem to be very open to hearing anything, and they were wrong for putting it on you. You should be able to feel safe in house and it is not at all OK/appropriate how your neighbor has been acting. Its a good thing that he was reported. We can't go back in time and do things different and eating ourselves up for reacting in a bad way will put us down further and not help. But we can go forward to try to learn from our mistakes. You deserve to feel safety in your home. I hope they do something about it and If not I hope the way his children devalued what you said doesn't stop you from speaking your truth in a respectful manner.
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